Ladies and Gentlemen of the Class of 2010If I could offer you only one tip for the future,
coaching would be it. The long term benefits of coaching have been proved by pundits whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your playing days; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your playing days until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous a player you really looked…. You are not as devoid of muscle as you imagine. Don’t worry about the next game; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to create a team play by drinking
Guinness. The real troubles in your game are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some pulsating match day afternoon. Do one thing every session that scares you;
Tackle! Don’t be reckless with other player’s legs, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Use the elbows. Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the game is long, and in the end, it’s only with the opposition. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old award certificates, throw away your old disciplinary letters.
Stretch. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you need to do in your next match… the most interesting players I know didn’t know at 26 what they had to do in their next match, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t know what a
system is. Get plenty of energy drinks. Be kind to your physios, you’ll miss them when they’re gone. Maybe you’ll play premiership, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have more internationals, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll retire at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken at your 75th club dinner… what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your team selection is half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your
supporters, use them every way you can… don’t be afraid of them, or what other people think of them, they’re the greatest friends you’ll ever have. Warm-up… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own changing room. Read the manuals, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read the Law book, it will only make you feel confused. Get to know your Owner, you never know when he’ll be at the Bar. Be nice to the media; they are the best link to your agent and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that Managers come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in your game because the older you get, the more you need the short cuts you knew when you were young. Visit a gym once, but leave before it makes you muscle bound; visit a therapist once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths – your transfer fees will diminish, your fitness won’t last, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young you played for fun, you were fit and you could pass the ball. Respect the
referee. Don’t expect the Club to pay you. Maybe you have a
rich benefactor, maybe you have a wealthy Chairman; but you never know when either one might run out. Don’t mess too much with your retirement plan, or by the time you're 50 you will have bankrupted yourself. Be careful whose financial tips you listen too, but, be patient with those who supply them. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the coaching…
Joe Public (courtesy of B. Luhrmann)
